Likes first we gotta say that the guy who created this blog musta be really cool 'cause like ilovedinomartin they chose to tag their blog with the words joined together. And, we know that transparentguy has the bestest of best taste in creatively craftin' a series of pixs 'n prose into the Dino-homage, " Thanksgiving: A Drama starring Dean Martin as Transman."
Usually pallies the theme of most of our Givin' Dino Thanks posts are of the more serious nature, and we thanks our great great man for the great great ways he has touched so so many lives in so so many ways....even years after he has departed from our presence. But, this post gives us the op to share a very very funny look at Thanksgiving and families accentin' our one and only Dino in the most cute and charmin' of ways.
ilovedinomartin shouts out our appreciato to transparentguy for this coolest of cool ways of homagin' our most beloved Dino in the funnest of fun ways...we are just sorry that we did not find this post when it originally appeared last year at this time. To view this post in it's original format, simply clicks on the tag of this here Dino-report. Dino-thankfully, DMP btw pallies, stay tuned as we begin our Dino-winter-month celebration here very very Dino-soon!
Thanksgiving anxiety
“We are so gonna be late … go put on some pants!” Transman tells Son 2.
There will be assorted friends and extended family members, pushing the list up to 40 or 50 people.
The plans keep changing–“We’re doing Thanksgiving at the Patriarch’s!” “Thanksgiving is canceled! We’ll do Christmas instead!” “Thanksgiving is back on! Location to be announced!” “Traditional Thanksgiving and Daisy is doing all the cooking!” “Daisy has to work in the morning; someone else needs to cook.”
“We’re ordering deli platters! Nobody has to cook!” “The Step-Matriarch wants traditional Thanksgiving! She’s too frail to cook it, though.” “We’re handing out Hungry Man TV dinners!”
This is what the holiday planning is always like.
The actual gathering will be “delightfully awkward” as Transman’s best friend likes to describe all of the family gatherings. This is her polite way of describing complete and total systemic dysfunction. There will be graceless, uneasy conversations; passing of judgement on anyone who dares leave the room; drunkenness that leads to emotional outbursts and insults and a whole slew of things that will leave everyone stung and wounded for the next 12 months. Add to all this Transman’s transition as the biggest damn elephant that has ever stomped into a family gathering, and you’ve got one big mess of embarrassment and discomfort for all involved.
And now, Thanksgiving: A Drama starring Dean Martin as Transman.
“Get in that car or I will strangle you! Your grandfather is waiting for us. Old people hate to wait for anything–especially food.”
“Look! Here come Transman and his little hooligans!” Marilyn Monroe and Frank Sinatra as Transman’s sister and her husband.
“We’re both in costume … he’s a cowboy and I’m dressed as a grownup.”
“C’mere, you big lug!” Transman, in an uncharacteristic display of affection, hugs his brother-in-law, played by Frank Sinatra. “Let go of me or I will crush this cigarette out in your ear!” B-I-L says.
“Don’t just dump it in! We’re supposed to add the pasta slowly!” Transman yells at his father, played by John Wayne. “I thought we were having a traditional Thanksgiving Dinner! Why are we making spaghetti?!” the old man says. “Don’t ask me,” Transman says, “I’m just doing what they tell me.”
Transman helps himself to a little sample.
“My goodness! Virgil’s Root Beer is the best!”
“Dibs on the grownups’ table!” Transman and his brothers try to assert their adulthood.
“And I said this meal is over!” Transman’s brother-in-law breaks down after we run out of green olives–and the martinis that go with them.
“The winner gets the last piece of pumpkin pie! We all know it won’t be Transman … he failed geometry three times a row!”
“Time for the Traditional Family Pyramid!”
“Get in the damn car! I’m ready to go home!”
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