Matt Helm actually became Dean Martin for the film rather than Martin becoming Helm.

Hey pallies, likes we gotta 'fess up that we are always! always! always! on the 'lert for more and more Dino-centric postin's puttin' the accent on our most beloved Dino as most beloved swingin' spyster Matt Helm.  Today we are potently pumped to share yet  'nother powerful post a la Helmer uno, "The Silencers"...... purely pleasurable Dino-as-Helm devotion from the blog "B-Movie Detective by Det. Abilene."  Det. Abilene in real life is Mr. Robb Johnson, "a former photographic model, who retired from modeling in 2010 and is pursuing a career in social work."

Likes this Mr. Johnson shares a marvelous missive of powerful prose and potent pixs in his excitin' essay tagged "The Male Ego: The Silencers (1966)."  Robb does the most awesome analysis of the first Helmer taggin' his excellent efforts "The Male Ego: The Silencers (1966).  It's crystal clear that Johnson really "gets  Martin" and we deeply digs this Dino-thought of his that we used to tag this Dino-gram..." Matt Helm actually became Dean Martin for the film rather than Martin becoming Helm."  Likes, ain't that the superbly simple and absolutely  awesome Dino-truth!

And, the screen caps that Robb has shared to illustrate the powerful pleasures of this Dino-epic are top drawer in our book dudes!  We are stunnin'ly smitten 'specially by one of these coolest of cool caps....the moment when our Dino as Matt Helm begins takin' off Miss Stella Stevens as Miss Gail Hendricks wet stockin's in his sexmobile....likes, if you looks closely pallies youse can see clearly that our Dino's smoke of choice is Kents as you will see on the right his pack of smokes and lighter...and the pack sez  "KENT."

Likes our only saddness is that we didn't happen 'pon this powerfully potent Helmer post 'til most recently when it first appeared over three years 'go on "B-Movie Detective by Det. Abilene."   Indeed we solemnly salute blogger Mr. Robb Johnson for one of the bestest of best reviews of a Matt Helm flick that we have ever had the privilege of devourin'!  To checks this out in it's original source, simply clicks on the tag of this here Dino-gram.

We remain,

Yours in Dino,

Dino Martin Peters

The Male Ego: The Silencers (1966)

28 May 2013

The Male Ego: The Silencers (1966)

The basic plot:  Matt Helm (Dean Martin) is a semi-retired secret service agent for ICE (US Department of Intelligence and Counter Espionage, who is pulled back into the spy game by his former boss MacDonald (James Gregory) in order to stop the major criminal organization the BIGO (pronounced “big o”) and its central villainous mastermind Tung-Tze (Victor Buono) – who has hatched a typically convoluted plan to detonate an Atom Bomb in New Mexico.  Helm has access to an outlandish assortment of gadgets and gizmos to assist him in his mission as well has help from sultry fellow ICE agent Tina (Daliah Lavi) and the bumbling klutz Gail Hendricks (Stella Stevens), who may (or may not) be a enemy agent working with BIGO.

Det. Abilene’s rating: 3.5 (out of 5)

Analysis: First published in 1960, the character of Matt Helm as created by author Donald Hamilton is a tough-as-nails assassin for the US government and his primary tasks usually involve terminating enemy agents.  The Helm book series ran from ’60-’93 and consists of 27 novels and they almost instantly became noted for their gritty realism and then-shocking violence (Helm was known to torture even women in order to complete the job).  Matt Helm finally made it to the big screen with this film in February of ’66, when the James Bond-fueled spy craze was at its absolute peak with literally hundreds of other spy stories flooding both film and television simultaneously.  The Matt Helm of this film, however, bears virtually no similarity to character that appeared in Hamilton’s original novels, as the realistic espionage tales penned by Hamilton has become a cartoon-like cotton candied spy spoof here in The Silencers.

Supposedly, film producer Irving Allen decided to mount the film a spoof and play the adventure for comedy because he was well aware that there was no way that he could compete with the spectacular James Bond productions produced by Albert R. Broccoli and Harry Saltzman – the exact same was true for Fox’s Saul David-produced Our Man Flint (released only one month before The Silencers) which was similarly played with tongue in cheek.  It should be noted with a great deal of irony that Allen was once partners with Broccoli and they ended their professional relationship with Broccoli became insistent upon making Ian Fleming’s James Bond character into a feature film and Allen famous insulted Fleming’s Bond novels as “not good enough for television.”  Allen may very well have regretted that decision after the Bond film series became a top-grossing phenomenon in the mid-sixties and apparently purchased the film rights to the Helm character in an attempt to launch his own spy series.  Allen hired director Phil Karlson (best known at the time for directing the Elvis Presley vehicle Kid Galahadand would later direct the massively successful 1973 biopic Walking Tall) to push the film even further into comedic territory and cast none other than singer/actor/television personality Dean Martin in the lead role (Martin also successfully insisted on becoming a co-producer on The Silencers and the future Helm films).

It is a “chicken / egg” scenario as to whether the film’s Matt Helm came to resemble a boozy, womanizing Vegas-like lounge lizard before or after Dean Martin was cast in the role.  In fact, the film’s portrayal of Helm is so similar to Martin’s own public personae that the film makes it seems as though Matt Helm actually became Dean Martin for the film rather than Martin becoming Helm.  In between playing spy and stopping the bad guys, Martin gets to romance no less than four beautiful women, drink lots of bubbly, make plenty of wisecracks (with even an admittedly funny swipe at real-life pal Frank Sinatra) and even sing snippets of no less 11 songs.  Regardless of how none of this even remotely resembled Hamilton’s Helm, film audiences loved it in 1966 as the film grossed over $16 million the US box office (a healthy sum at the time and more than $111 million in 2012 dollars if adjusted for inflation) leading to three more films with Martin as Helm (a fifth Helm film was planned but Martin decided enough was enough), and the Martin-as-Helm film series served as one of the major inspirations for Mike Myers’ popular Austin Powers trilogy of films.     

In spite of its popularity and influence on the spy parody sub-genre, The Silencers is often harshly criticized by modern audiences and especially by fans of the original novels.  As a fan of the entire mid-sixties spy entertainment, I’ve always enjoyed The Silencers and find it to be a more entertaining spoof than 1967’s Casino Royale and almost as successful as Our Man Flint – though admittedly not nearly as funny as television’s “Get Smart” (1965-1970).  The film is nominally based of Hamilton’s first and fourth Helm books, Death of a Citizen (in which Helm most find his own kidnapped daughter) and The Silencers (in which Helms saves a group of US Congressmen and scientists) but the film only borrows a few elements from the novels and then largely disregards the plots of both books in favor of storyline somewhat similar to the inaugural James Bond film Dr. No (1962), with chief villain Tung-Tze obviously created in the vein of Joseph Wiseman’s portrayal of the title villain in that first Bond cinematic outing.  The screenplay by Oscar Saul (with some additional punching up by Herbert Baker, who would pen the scripts for the next two Helm films) follows the regular espionage outline effectively enough to hang the various puns and sight gags on and most of the jokes here work well enough to at least bring a smile. 

The film opens with an amusing send up of Maurice Bender’s famous credit sequences for the Bond films with various stripers stripping during the opening credits and the gorgeous Cyd Charisse (who was still a sexy knockout at age 45 when this film was shot) lip-synching to pop singer Vikki Car’s recording of the memorable title song.  The film’s art direction by Joe Wright and set decoration by George R. Nelson amps the already grandiose spy movie spectacle to a hilariously ridiculous degree, and pushes the film’s realty even further into the realm of cartoon fantasy.  Helm’s revolving circular bed, swimming pool-sized bathtub, cylinder contact dryers, etc. have become iconic staples of mid-sixties bachelor pad neo-futurism.  Even the lame sight of Helm traveling in a station wagon (what kind of smooth, swinging, womanizing superspy drives a station wagon?) is somewhat redeemed by containing a both a mattress and a fully-stocked bar.

The cast is well-chosen assortment, with Daliah Lavi, Victor Buono, and Robert Webber particularly fun in archly stereotypical performances of spy movie stock characters and Beverly Adams is also funny as Helm’s assistant named Lovey Kravezit (not nearly as outlandish a name as Goldfinger’s Pussy Galore, but points for effort).  The only character that truly breaks cliché is James Gregory playing Helm’s boss as a more sensitive type, a somewhat refreshing change from the typical hard-boiled characterization that is usually the hallmark of such characters.  Best of all, however, is the adorable Stella Stevens who takes on the well-worn role of the klutz ditz (never a favorite of feminist critics and audiences) and brings genuine heart and pathos to potentially one-note role.  Taking pot shots and pratfalls that would scare off even some of the most physical of comediennes, Stevens makes a sincere connection with the audience and delivers a truly Award-worthy comic performance that stands as probably the female portrayal in any of the various spy spoofs before or since.

As for Martin himself, our male ego of the review, his performance as Helm in all four Helm movies has been largely criticized as lazy and apathetic, but I don’t feel that such criticism is valid.  Martin, who was then riding high on his own self-titled variety television series (1965-1974), was cast on the basis of his own public personae (for an example of Martin really acting then be sure to check out his exceptional dramatic performance in 1958’s The Young Lions) and this largely works in the film’s favor.  Martin’s innate charisma and handsome good looks lend the film an easygoing charm that’s awful hard to resist, and (even at age 49) his Italian machismo remains quite sexy – he still looks quite smashing whether in a turtleneck and dinner jacket or simply bare-chested.  He may not bear the slightest resemblance to the Matt Helm of Hamilton’s novels, but Martin is still tops when it comes to comedic, swinging superspies!

If there is sad postscript to spy spoofs like the Helm and Flint movies, it is that their success made mounting a serious, realistic espionage tale more difficult for filmmakers in the following decade.  Case in point, even the James Bond series eventually succumbed to parody in the Roger Moore-led seventies outings like silly box office blockbusters The Spy Who Loved Me (1977) and Moonraker (1979) – it wouldn’t be until 1981’s For Your Eyes Only that the Bond series would get serious again and that Moore would finally have a sincere outing as the character.  Matt Helm himself would also get another chance for a more serious treatment when the character was dusted off for a television series in 1975 starring Anthony Franciosa in the title role.  Although the television show was dramatic in nature, the series was little more than a routine detective show and only lasted 13 episodes before cancellation.

Bottom Line: One of the classic ‘60s spy spoofs, The Silencers bears virtually no relation to the gritty Matt Helm novels on which is nominally based but it works on its own merits as a comedy.  Dean Martin is one of the ultimate swinger spies and Stella Stevens delivers an Award-worthy comedic performance. 

All this serves as an excuse to surround Dino with gorgeous women and make with the double entendres in his smooth as Bourbon voice.

Hey pallies, likes let's keep the Dino as Helm posts comin' dudes!     Likes for the next trio of days, we are plannin' on sharin  more Dino-action  accentin' our most beloved Dino as swingin' spyster Matt Helm in Helmer numero uno..."The Silencers."   Today  we thrilled to be visitin'  with movie marvel Mr. Gary Loggins who reigns over "Cracked Rear Viewer and Through the Shattered Lens."  Tellin' us a little bit 'bout himself Gary scribes, "I'm a film fanatic who grew up on old movies, and have as much fun writing about them as I do watching."

Well Loggins has taken his turn at reviewin' "The Silencers" with his coolest of cool captioned blog post, "Secret Agent Double-O Dino: THE SILENCERS (Columbia 1966)."  Likes dudes we digs the tag "Secret Agent Double-O Dino" to the max".....a potent parody on 007...James Bond.  Interestin' 'nough dudes, Gary shares a number of the same screen caps as yesterday's Dino-gramer did and his ravin' review is full of awesome appreciato for our one and only Dino.

The swank sentence that we digs the mostest of the most is what we used to tag this post..." All this serves as an excuse to surround Dino with gorgeous women and make with the double entendres in his smooth as Bourbon voice."  Likes in one simple sentence Gary spells gives us an outstandin' overview of our Dino and Helm!  His words are coolly crafted and certain to energetically encourage many many of his readership to tune in and turn on to our most beloved Dino as the one and only Matt Helm!

ilovedinomartin shouts out kudos to Mr. Gary Loggins for his remarkable review of "The Silencers" and we are pleased as punch to be sharin' with all the pallies gathered  'round our waterin' hole decided to our King of Cool.  Likes to checks this out in it's original source, simply clicks on the tag of this Dino-report.

We remain,

Yours in Dino,

Dino Martin Peters

Secret Agent Double-O Dino: THE SILENCERS (Columbia 1966)

Out of all the James Bond-inspired spy spoofs made in the Swingin’ 60’s, one of the most popular was Dean Martin’s Matt Helm series. Based on the novels of Donald Hamilton, the films bore little resemblance to their literary counterparts, instead relying on Dino’s Booze & Girlies Rat Pack Vegas persona. First up was 1966’s THE SILENCERS, chock full of gadgets, karate chops, and beautiful babes, with sexual innuendoes by the truckload.

Our Man Matt is a semi-retired agent of ICE (Intelligence and Counter-Espionage) living in a Playboy Mansion-style pad, and working as a globe-trotting photographer. He’s luxuriating in his bubble bath pool with sexy secretary Lovey Kravezit (“Lovey Kravezit? Oh that’s some kinda name!”) when former boss Mac Donald calls. Evil spy organization Big O (Bureau for International Government and Order) is once again plotting world domination, and the reluctant Helm is pulled back into service.

Matt is teamed with his former partner Tina to thwart Operation Fallout, a nefarious plot to detonate nuclear bombs at Alamagordo and set off a war between the U.S. and Russia. The two spies are sent to Phoenix to retrieve a computer tape from operative Sarita, who works as the featured attraction at the Slayboy Club. Sarita is assassinated onstage, and the tape winds up in the hands of beautiful but klutzy Gail Hendricks. Matt thinks she’s an enemy agent, and they make their way to San Juan, where they’re captured. Tina turns out to be a double agent, and Matt must battle the odds inside Big O headquarters to stop Operation Fallout and defeat evil leader Tung Tze.

All this serves as an excuse to surround Dino with gorgeous women and make with the double entendres in his smooth as Bourbon voice. Dean’s basically playing himself here, or at least his public image of a fun-loving, skirt chasing, boozy lounge lizard. His easygoing charm makes it work, and he has a ball as the ring-a-ding spy. Dean can be heard singing on the soundtrack whenever he’s thinking of girls, and there’s a funny moment when, while driving with Gail, Frank Sinatra comes on the radio crooning “Come Fly With Me”. “Oh, turn him off”, says Dean, “He’s terrible”. He switches the station and Dean himself is on singing his own hit “Everybody Loves Somebody Sometimes”. Martin smiles and says, “Now that guy can sing!”.

All the women are appropriately attractive. Stella Stevens is the graceless Gail, an innocent caught up in the sinister skullduggery. She give a fine comic performance, and can take a slapstick pratfall with the best of them. A former Playmate of the Month, Stella’s seen to best advantage in the films THE NUTTY PROFESSOR (with Dean’s ex-partner Jerry Lewis), Sam Peckinpah’s THE BALLAD OF CABLE HOGUE, and Irwin Allen’s THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE. Daliah Lavi (Tina) was an Israeli actress featured in the spy spoofs THE SPY WITH A COLD NOSE and 1967’s CASINO ROYALE, as well as Mario Bava’s THE WHIP AND THE BODY. Beverly Adams (Lovey Kravezit) was in HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI, but was best known as the wife of celebrity hairstylist Vidal Sassoon. Nancy Kovack appears as counterspy Barbara, who tries unsuccessfully to knock off Helm. Kovack was a 60’s staple who acted in countless TV shows of the era (MAN FROM UNCLE, STAR TREK, BATMAN, etc), and played the ingénue in JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS and THE OUTLAWS IS COMING (The Three Stooges’ last feature), and retired from films after marrying conductor Zubin Mehta .

Cyd Charisse gets “Guest Star” billing as Sarita, the dancing spy. The former MGM musical star gets to strut her stuff once again in both the movie’s opening credits (where she does a striptease number) and onstage at the Slayboy Club (her vocals are dubbed by singer Vicki Carr). It’s basically a cameo role, but it’s good to see the leggy Miss Charisse dancing onscreen again.

The males are all Familiar Faces to movie fans, composed of a fine set of 60’s  character actors. Victor Buono plays villain Tung Tze, and though he’s about as Oriental as Dino, he’s always a welcome presence. Gruff James Gregory is ICE chief MacDonald, and Robert Webber , Roger C. Carmel, and Arthur O’Connell are various Big O bad guys. Director Phil Karlson, known for his tough films like KANSAS CITY CONFIDENTIAL and THE PHENIX CITY STORY , shows his lighter side in this one and balances the comedy and action well.

Producer Irving Allen was once the partner of Albert “Cubby” Broccoli, who broke up when Cubby decided to bring James Bond to the silver screen. Allen wasn’t interested, and missed the boat on a franchise that’s still going strong today. After seeing the success of the Bond films, Allen jumped on the bandwagon and obtained the rights to the Matt Helm novels, adding more comedy to the mix. THE SILENCERS and its sequel MURDERER’S ROW were box-office hits, but the final two (THE AMBUSHERS and THE WRECKING CREW) didn’t do so hot, as the spy craze was ending. Martin declined to do a fifth (THE RAVAGERS) and Matt Helm went into retirement. Attempts to revive the character have failed, including a weekly TV series starring Tony Franciosa. The Matt Helm movies are a product of their era, with Dean Martin’s breezy style carrying the load. All the wink-and-a-nod sexual innuendoes seem innocent in today’s anything goes world, but the Matt Helm series is worth watching as artifacts of a time past, no classics but still entertaining.

The second in the glorious Matt Helm spy spoof series and (maybe?) the best.

Hey pallies, likes we're on the grooviest of groovy Dino-roll of our mighty man Dino playin' the mighty mighty Matt Helm.  Today we have one of 'em "short by sweet" swank sharin', and likes as we know it is no always the length of the Dino-prose that matters most.  So, with only a picture, a poster, and a bit of patter, this post may very well qualify as the shortest Matt Helm prose we have ever shared on "Murder's Row," and likes perhaps all of the quartet of Helmer silver screen epics.

However, the pix is one of the coolest, if not the coolest from  "Murder's Row."  The poster is indeed our fav of favs from Helmer duo.  And, likes the patter is powerfully potent for Dino-sure.

Likes we go any further with the raisin' of the praisin', we oughta gives you at least a bit of information of where and from whom today's Dino-devotion comes.  The blog is tagged "RUPERT PUPKIN SPEAKS."  We ain't got a clue who Rupert Pupkin is but the blogger sez 'bout his blog, "This site is all about keeping older films in the public consciousness via lists and short reviews."
Today's "Murder's Row" review is actually taken from movie aficionado Mr. Samuel B. Prine (pictured to left and his post tagged "Underrated '66 Samuel B. Prine," a sharin' of films from '66 includin' Helmer numero duo, "Murder's Row."

It's coolly crystal clear that Mr. Prine is a deeper then deep digger of our most beloved Dino and the Matt Helm big screen capers.  As, we said 'bove Samuel's scribin' are short, but oh oh so sweet.  In fact we tagged this post with Prine's perfectly perfect Dino-as-Helm-observation..." The second in the glorious Matt Helm spy spoof series and (maybe?) the best."  Likes, of course, we couldn't 'gree with him more!

We sez our thoughtful thanks to both the blogger at "RUPERT PUPKIN SPEAKS" and Mr. Samuel B. Prine for spreadin' the Dino-message of cool a la "Murder's Row."  It is always such a pure pleasure to find 'nother awesome advocate of our most most beloved Dino.  To checks this out in it's original source, likes clicks, per usual, on the tag of this Dino-report.

We remain,

Yours in Dino,

Dino Martin Peters

Underrated '66 - Samuel B. Prime



Samuel B. Prime is a writer, film curator, and archivist based in Los Angeles. He deeply admires Dick Cavett's savoir faire and his favorite Sonny Chiba film is Kazuhiko Yamaguchi's perpetually unavailable WOLFGUY: ENRAGED LYCANTHROPE (1975). Find him online at  www.lacinesalon.com   for essays and free streaming movies.

MURDERERS' ROW (Henry Levin, 1966)

The second in the glorious Matt Helm spy spoof series and (maybe?) the best. I mean, Dean Martin (as Matt Helm) throws an exploding white dress at a picture of Frank Sinatra. It really doesn't get much better than that. Oh, wait! Yes, it does!!! Ann-Margret shakes her tuchus like there is no tomorrow. Plus, everybody goes home happy with a glass of scotch - not bourbon!

.....everyone loves some Deano sometimes.....

Hey pallies, likes a few 'go we was doin' some Dino-image searchin'...always a wonderfuly wise way of findin'  Dino-devotion yet to be uncovered by ilovedinomartin, we were led to the blog pad of Mr.
Paul Stockton and his coolest of coolly tagged personal blog, "Dusty Video Box" where he has the swankest of swank scribin's accentin' Helmer numero quartre....."The Wrecking Crew" in his post, "Silly but saved by Sharon… The Wrecking Crew (1968)"  And, we are delighted to know that Mr. Stockton's Dino-reflections are mucho more in line with sold out to Dino-holics likes us then yester-Dino-day's post on the same flick.

While we frankly 'fesses up that this is our least fav of all of the swingin' spyster Matt Helm flicks, it still provides pleasure unendin' for all of us sold-out-to-Dino holics, and likes, Mr. Stockton potently provides patter in his remarkable review that certainly makes us engagin'ly eager to view it for yet 'nother time.  The marvelous mixin' of perfect prose and stunnin'ly shared screen caps powerfully proves to be a cool combo to energetically entice the Dino-faithful as well as those young in Dino to dust off a copy of TWC and get some awesome action from our most beloved Dino.

Likes Paul has a wonderful way with words and we loves the lively way he begins his artful articulation a la Helm..."Sixties comic strip, multi-coloured pseudo-psychedelia, soundtracked by easy legend Hugo Montenegro in an attempt to make the likeable but seasoned, Rat Pack crooner hip enough for families with an increasingly-diverse cultural agenda…"  Truly truly dudes we are diggin' this review likes to the max!

So, enjoys yet ' more fun 'n frolic thanks to our swingin' Dino as spyster Helm courtesy of Mr. Paul Stockton.  We solemnly salute Paul for his efforts in sharin' the Dino-Helmer vib  with all his readership.  To checks this out in it's original source, simply clicks on the tag of this here Dino-gram.

We remain,

Yours in Dino,

Dino Martin Peters

Silly but saved by Sharon… The Wrecking Crew (1968)



Sixties comic strip, multi-coloured pseudo-psychedelia, soundtracked by easy legend Hugo Montenegro in an attempt to make the likeable but seasoned, Rat Pack crooner hip enough for families with an increasingly-diverse cultural agenda… is there any point in watching The Wrecking Crew in 2014?

Yes it’s proto-Austen Powers Bond spoofery has genuine period charm and there are lots of groovy chicks and kung fu kicks on view (Bruce Lee choreographed the violence) but Dean Martin as a fifty-something photographer-cum-special agent? Then again, how can you take the mickey out of a film that’s way ahead of you on that score?


Dean adds up his fees for the four Helm films

Dean involves you in the joke and the joke is that he’s getting paid to walk through things pretty much as himself: singing re-worded Martin standards every time he encounters yet another beautiful woman willing to “lie down” with him to talk and always seeking out the drinks cabinet in every room he enters.

It’s knowing, exploitative and laid back, everyone loves some Deano sometimes and…me we can’t just watch Antonioni and Bergman all of the time can we?


Sharon Tate

But what really made this film worthy of comment was watching Sharon Tate as the seemingly bumbling Danish tourist guide Freya Carlson who (obviously) is also a spy. This was the last of her films released before her brutal murder in August 1969 and you watch her all too aware of her tragedy to come. Yet the more I watched the more I thought that she should be remembered for her abilities and achievements rather than the manner of her exit (no matter how horrific and senseless).

The Wrecking Crew is far from the best film she made but she makes her mark with what she had and is energetic, funny and, of course, beautiful. On this evidence she was a versatile actress who would have made many interesting films but we have to appreciate those that she did make in her short span and pay her the tribute of remembering her as a person and not a victim. And this silly, occasionally funny, period piece is a part of her professional life.


Nigel Green - saved by his enduring sense of the ridiculous

The fourth in the Matt Helm series, The Wrecking Crew follows the existing formula of gadgets and girls with Helm (Dean Martin) up against a teched-up, organised and delightfully nasty baddy Count Contini (played by the always excellent Nigel Green who always seems so earnestly world-weary). Contini and his well-drilled mob hi-jack a trainload of gold bullion from a train in Denmark and are intent on using it to destabilise the markets of the western world.


Elke makes an entrance...

Contini is aided by his psychotic-but-lovely left-hand woman Linka Karensky (Elke Sommer) who makes a quite stunning entry in a close-fitting white dress slashed almost to her waist -  they really don’t make spies quite this curvaceous anymore… along with the alluring martial artist Wen Yu-Rang (Nancy Kwan).

After the robbery, the secret service calls Helm away from a surreal garden party/photo-shoot with a bevy of outlandishly attired models. He is briefed by commander 'Mac' MacDonald (John Larch) and told to follow the action to Denmark and to seek out Contini’s former confidant and squeeze, as Lola Medina (Tina Louise... as statuesque as Sommer).


Dean Martin meets Tina Louise

Helm meets Freya in his hotel and is immediately impressed by her legs if not her competency – geeky glasses and clumsy as Clark Kent she can’t be the real deal… or can she

Helm encounters Lola who seems very keen to unburden herself of Contini’s secret plan along with most of her clothes. Sadly, her former boss is ahead of the game and blows her up. Next he gets a visit from Wen Yu-Rang who is similarly drawn to Matt Helm’s magnetism: even though these women mean to kill him they want to enjoy the moment first – psycho-analyse that?!


Nancy Kwan holds talks with Dean Martin

Freya is on hand to get in the way/save the day and the two are chased up to a ski-lift by Wen’s men and we Martin performing some of the moves Bruce Lee put together – not too shabby Dean!

It’s only a matter of time before Linka tries her luck and she proves a match for Helm hiding one more gun than he expected but… so impressed is she that she wants to share the loot with him… or does she?



Everything careers towards the inevitable conclusions and you know at some point it’ll be down to a scrap between Matt and Contini but not before some entertaining gadgetry at the latter’s mansion as Helm tries to avoid being inadvertently fried by Freya. We also have a car chase in which Matt reveals that he keeps are large chopper in his boot… he and Freya assemble the mini-copter in record time and fly off to hopefully stop Contini as he heads off with the billion in bullion to a suspiciously Californian-looking Luxembourg….



 Dusty verdict: Undemanding comfort cinema is an understatement but this is a period piece worth saving for a rainy day when all you can handle is bright entertainment. Matey Martin along for the laughs and it’s really no hardship watching Louise, Kwan, Sommer and the luminous Tate.

The Wrecking Crew is freely available from all good Amazons and there's also a boxed set of all four films if you've got flu or a really bad hang-over.


Matt Helm at his day job... really.


Bruce Lee got Dean kicking


Why Miss Carlson, without your glasses, etc...


Sorry, what's the plot again?

 

Since Martin plays the role as a man who wears his sexuality on his sleeve.....

Hey pallies, likes in our deepest desire to slake our thirst to drinks deeply at the Matt Helm waterin' hole, we are powerfully pumped to begin this new week of deep deeply Dino-adulation by sharin' with you yet  'nother most honorin' Dino as Matt Helm post found by lovin'ly  doin' some extra google Dino-'blog searchin' specifically puttin' the beloved name of our Dino and Matt Helm in the ol' google search drive.

Today we takes you to one of the Matt Helm flick reviews that we happened 'pon in our search for libations a la Dino.  From the ultra  ubber uniquely tagged blog, "All Outta Bubble Gum," comes a review by Kain424 of Helmer numero quatre "The Wrecking Crew."  By the tag of Kain424's thoughts, "The Wrecked Movie" one can tell that this dude doesn't "get Martin" or these swingin' spyster Dino-capers.  While we would 'gree that "The Wrecking Crew" is one of the lesser of the quartet, but likes it ain't as bad as Kain424 makes it out to be.

Likes by simply readin' a couple of Kain424's sentences, one see's his lack of appreciato for our Dino as Matt Helm.  Kain424 reports...."And it completely fumbles the ball.  The film spends more time emphasizing our hero’s pursuit of women than his pursuit of the gold, giving the entire duration a feeling of wasted time."  Those in the Dino-know know that these fantastic flicks are simply 'bout frothy fun and frolic with our Dino simply playin' his ever cool, hip, and randy self to the max...includin' his passionate pursuit of the opposite sex.

So, likes why are we sharin' this with all youse deeply devoted to our Dino?  Well, we gotta 'fess up that we 'specially loves a couple of the Dino-poses that Kain424 shares (the powerful pose of our Dino with the machine gun is worth the price of admission by itself), (we have had to remove 'em cause they were't comin' up in the post---sorry 'bout that pallies) and it is always good every now and then to share other's perspectives...lettin' us know that true devotees of our Dino will continue to have challenges ahead of educatin' the masses to the fantastic fun found in followin' our King of Cool, and 'specially as swingin' spyster Matt Helm.

So, while we are no much in agreement with Kain424 remarks, we thank him for spreadin' some Dino at his pad and makin' others more aware of our most beloved Dino.  Likes to checks this out in it's original format, simply clicks on the tag of this here Dino-gram.

We remain,

Yours in Dino,

Dino Martin Peters


The Wrecked Movie

Posted on November 8th, 2009 by Kain424

The Wrecking Crew



[THE CHALK-OUTLINE]

The Wrecking Crew (1969): Breakdown by Kain424

Intelligence and Counter Espionage (ICE) agent Matt Helm is dispatched to find and retrieve a billion dollars in stolen gold.

[THE EXECUTION]

Because of the popularity of James Bond, knock-off spy films began appearing all over the place in the 1960s.  The Wrecking Crew is one of them.  This is the fourth and final film in the Matt Helm franchise, one of the higher budgeted knock-off series.  And when you look at what it’s got going for it, you won’t be blamed for having high expectations.



There is a helicopter chase, spy gadgets, car chases, scantily-clad women everywhere you look, a booby-trapped mansion, fight choreography by Bruce Lee AND Chuck Norris.  Hell, Chuck Norris is in the film!  There are shoot-outs, heist plots, double-agents, and a final fight aboard a speeding train.  This film has it all.



And it completely fumbles the ball.  The film spends more time emphasizing our hero’s pursuit of women than his pursuit of the gold, giving the entire duration a feeling of wasted time.  And despite its use of car chases and helicopters, the bluescreen looks terrible, and the car chase is ruined with the movie’s horrible musical score.  In fact, the elevator music-style soundtrack only adds to the feeling that we’re waiting for the real adventure to begin.  The fights, despite the talent behind them, are terribly done.  They’re plodding, clearly fake mistakes of celluloid junk.  Everyone is moving at half-speed, as if they’re doing a dress rehearsal.

The film’s emphasis on women (usually a good thing in spy movies), gets as bothersome as it is distracting.  One goofy scene after another follow the last, with every woman dressed in a more ridiculous manner.  At first, I was laughing about the different shots of women’s asses, but it got old after about the fifth or sixth time.  In an effort to keep from turning the damn thing off, I tried to tell myself the movie is just a product of its time.  But then I remembered how many quality Bond flicks were released in the preceding years and almost came completely unglued.  The Wrecking Crew is simply an unfocused mess of great ideas and things the producers thought people wanted from the genre.



 Someone also forgot to tell the writers how cameras work.  There are many scenes where characters are looking at screens where there is pretty much no way a camera could be without the people being watched noticing.  It gets embarrassing the more they use it.  Also noticeable are the pads when people jump to the ground.  Pretty much the only thing not ruined is the gunplay, but the impact of that is even lessened by the lack of squibs or equivalent effects.

A lot of the film’s problems come from its casting.  From a shrill, nerdy, and offensive Sharon Tate (ok, she wasn’t too bad) to a too-old-for-the-part Dean Martin, we have unlikable characters who we can neither relate to or get involved with unless we are the biggest of fans.  Martin, who has had excellent turns in films like Rio Bravo, is about a decade or two removed from where he should be.  Perhaps a slightly younger, ex-prizefighter, Dean Martin would have spent less time singing and schmoozing and more time putting foot to ass.



Only recently, with films like Transformers, have I seen such wasted potential.  If this one pops up on your radar, try and avoid it.  The only valid reasons one would watch The Wrecking Crew is if they are an absolute completist or perhaps are that curious about what a young Chuck Norris looked like.   Check out that image above.  Now you don’t need to sit through this torture of a film.

[HOW BAD-ASS IS THE MAIN CHARACTER?]



Dean Martin is Matt Helm

A special agent for ICE, Helm is supposed to be the best.  But like 007, Helm seemingly has only a loose interest in the mission at hand, preferring to lust after gorgeous women to saving the European and American economic markets from collapsing.  Still, he can make a helicopter from parts stored in his car and fly it damn well.

And yet for all his supposed skill, he remains a remarkably ineffectual hero.  He never has to do any detective or espionage work, pretty much happening on the villains the moment he arrives in the correct country.  I’d call the guy more a lucky son of bitch than a bad-ass.

[THE BODY COUNT: 16]

Without being too violent, I think the movie still provides an adequate amount of bodies.  Martin kills 11, making him the MVP for this one.  We get death from gunshots, explosions, and a few from falling from a traincar moving at a high rate of speed.

[MOST SATISFYING DEATH]

I’ll be honest.  I did like the main baddie’s death.  Helm throws him out the trap door in the bottom of the speeding train, and the guy gives a pretty awesome death scream.  So that was cool.

[DUDESWEAT AND MACHISMO]

Since Martin plays the role as a man who wears his sexuality on his sleeve, there isn’t much question as to the protagonist’s sexual preference.  The villain seems equally interested in women.  I’d go into his home decorating, but I think that gaying up your house comes with the title of “Count”.

[EXPLOITATION AND MISOGYNY]

Freya: “I’m an agent. And I also happen to be a good one. And I’m also a woman!”
*runs off crying*

No question about it, the women of The Wrecking Crew are absolute objects.  The ones without names are clearly meant to be scenery, even acting as furniture in some instances.  And the one with names are treated no better.  Look no further than the most offensive character of Freya, played by Sharon Tate.



A contact for ICE, Freya is supposed to be some sort of agent in her own right.  Realizing this would make her seem somewhat of an equal to our male protagonist, the film makers have decided to turn Freya into a shrieking, bumbling child of a woman.  In a series of running gags (with emphasis on gag), she accidentally foils many of Helm’s plans, all the while remaining forever jealous of any other woman he even gazes upon.  Way to set women back a few decades, guys.  Good job.

[EPIC MOMENT AND BEST ONE-LINER]



The best moment of the film occurs near the end.  Dean Martin and Sharon Tate fly a helicopter into the middle of the villain’s compound, where Martin shoots and blasts his way inside.  In a film littered with poorly done action, it’s easily the best sequence.  There’s shoot-outs, explosions, and Dean Martin even manages to dive over a wall.  And, for a very brief moment, the movie almost becomes good.

Zipper Choices

As for the one-liner, it’s from the lead villain’s main squeeze.  Matt Helm comes upon her dressing in her bedroom.  She asks him to zip her dress, prompting the following exchange:

Matt: “Which way do you want it, up or down?”
Linka: “Well there’s always a choice, Mr. Helm, isn’t there?”

[THE MORAL OF THE STORY]

All the great ideas and talent in the world won’t amount to shit if you don’t know what to do with them.  Oh, and Bad Guys, stop monologing  and just kill them when you have the damn chance.

[THE CHUCK OF NORRIS: 1 outta 5]

[  ] Facial Hair
[  ] Jumps/Or Kicks Through A Window Or Wall
[X] Performs Spin Kick or Spin Punch To Enemies Face
[  ] Shows Off His Hairy Chest
[  ] Sports Some Cowboy Getup

[THE CHECKLIST: 12 outta 25]

[X] Athlete(s) Turned “Actor” *
[X] Clinging To The Outside Of A Moving Vehicle
[  ] Crotch Attack
[X] Dialogue Telling Us How Bad-Ass The Main Character(s) Is/Are
[  ] Ending Featuring An Ambulance, A Blanket or A Towel
[  ] Factory/Warehouse
[X] Giant Explosion(s)
[  ] Heavy Artillery
[X] Improvised Weapon(s)
[X] Macho Mode(s) Of Transportation
[X] Main Character Sports Facial Accessory(s)
[  ] Manly Embrace(s)
[  ] Notorious Stunt-Man Sighting
[  ] Passage(s) Of Time Via Montage
[  ] Politically Fueled Plot Point(s)
[X] Senseless Destruction Of Property
[X] Shoot Out(s) and/or Sword Fight(s)
[  ] Slow-Motion Finishing Move(s)/Death(s)
[X] Stupid Authoritative Figure(s)
[X] Substance Usage and/or Abuse
[  ] Tis The Season
[  ] Torture Sequence(s)
[  ] Unnecessary Sequel
[X] Vehicle Chase(s)
[  ] Vigilante Justice
* Dean Martin was a prizefighter, and I’ll go ahead and count that.




Roundhouse kick—Chuck Norris!

Danny G's Sunday Serenade with Dino: "In The Cool Cool Cool Of The Evening"

Welcome back, mi amici!
I'm hopin' ALL my pals are in a FUN FUN mood this week...'cause we is gonna have some!

Gots us a jammin' little tune that is SURE to stick in your head & keep those toes tappin'...even in bed! Haha!!

Today's Serenade, "In the Cool Cool Cool of the Evening", is just so damn bouncy...so darn silly...just so COM PLETE LY Dino-esque...how could youse NOT wanna sing along?!

Let's keep this CRAZY vibe goin' ALL week, pallies!
No slowin' down!

Dean ALWAYS gets the extra pep in my step & ALWAYS keeps me upbeat!

Rain or shine...sunny or clouds...Dino is the perfect cure for a hum drum day & DEF I NATE LY knocks the blues away!


Obviously I'm playin' the live vid as well as the studio recordin' for this one, pallies.
NO WAY I could choose one over the other! Ha!

OK...that's 'nough jibber jabber from me, pals...let's get this thin' swingin'!
Keep tappin', my friends...Dean's watchin'!

Sue wants a barbecue
Sam wants to boil ham
Grace votes for bouillabaisse stew
Jake wants a wienie bake, steak and a layer cake
He'll get a tummy ache too

We'll rent a tent or tepee
Let the town crier cry
And if it's RSVP
This is what I'll reply

In the cool cool cool of the evening
Tell 'em I'll be there
In the cool cool cool of the evening
You better save a chair
When the party's getting a glow on
Singing fills the air
In the shank of the night when the doings are right
You can tell 'em I'll be there

We, said the bumblebee, let's have a jubilee
When said the prairie hen, soon
Sure said the dinosaur
Where said the grizzly bear
Under the light of the moon
How 'bout your brother jackass
Everyone gave a cry
You coming to the fracas
Over his expected sighs

In the cool cool cool of the evening
Tell 'em I'll be there
In the cool cool cool of the evening
Slickum on my hair
When the party's getting a glow on
Singing fills the air
If I aint in the clink
And there's something to drink
You can tell 'em I'll be there
If I can find the right sock by eleven o'clock
You can tell 'em I'll be there
If you need a new face or a tenor off base
You can tell 'em I'll be there
If I can climb out of bed, put a hat on my head
You can tell 'em I'll be there

Johnny Carson's Tonight Show interview with a sozzled Dean Martin

Hey pallies, likes we are gonna takes a wee little break from the Dino as Matt Helm action 'cause likes most recently the pallies at Time-Life Star Vista has released yet 'nother cool compilation of episodes from Johnny Carson's Tonight Show with the tag "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JOHNNY CARSON: THE VAULT SERIES."  And, likes the folks at the on-line presence of "People" shared a post that includes a brief preview vid clip from this series as a way of promotin' this new set of dvds that will be available in a variety of number of episodes, and likes thus also number of dvd discs.

So, likes who did "People" choose to be bein' interviewed by Mr. Carson out of the thousands of guests that appeared with him over the many many years that he hosted the Tonight Show?   Youse guessed it pallies, likes none other then our most most beloved Dino...that's who!!!!!  Below is that post from "People" that includes some profound patter and a few moments shared between Carson and our Dino that have not been shown since it was first was shown on the small screen.

The post is tagged "From the Vault: Dean Martin Is in the Cups and Offering Johnny Carson Late-Night Hosting Tips," and truly truly pallies, this time 'round our King of Cool does not appear to be actin' like he is drunk, likes is the "People" pallies state is "a sozzled Dean Martin."  There he is is Dino-holics our Dino dressed oh so marvelously mod  in a white suit with turtleneck, omnipresent Kent Cigarette in his right hand, and from the length of his sideburns we woulda guess that this was filmed sometime in the early seventies.

Likes it's 43 seconds of our swingin' Dino havin' some fun with Mr. Johnny Carson, and, of course, it's makin' us wanna goes right out and get this new Late Show collection!  We thanks the pallies at "People" for sharin' this long unseen clip of our great great man with the great late night host, Mr. Johnny Carson.  To checks this out in it's original source, simply clicks on the tag of this here Dino-message.

We remain,

Yours in Dino,

Dino Martin Peters

From the Vault: Dean Martin Is in the Cups and Offering Johnny Carson Late-Night Hosting Tips



It's a blast from the past!

Soon to be released as part of a brand-new DVD collection, PEOPLE has an exclusive sneak peek at Johnny Carson's Tonight Show interview with a sozzled Dean Martin that hasn't been seen since it originally hit airwaves.

In the clip, Martin – who is clearly intoxicated – is quick to offer the veteran late-night talk show host some tips on his opening monologue.

"You wanna know why your monologue don't go over?" Martin questions Carson.

The star of "The Wrecking Crew" is the man himself, Mr. Cool, aka Dino Martin!

Hey pallies, likes today we shares with youse the fourth and final incredible installment of grooviest of groovy Dino as Matt Helm devotion from our Dino-diggin' pallie ""Eegah!! and Tabonga! who, as we've said previously, hangs his hat at the beautifully  bodacious blog, "The Dwrayger Dungeon - Where it's 13 O'Clock on the 13th Floor!  - A Cyclopedia of the Wild 'n' Weird Side of Movies & TV."

Today E&T shares with us his swankly swingin' scribin's of Helmer quartre, "The Wrecking Crew."
Likes once 'gain it's a bountiful beautiful bevy of  purely poetical prose and smartly stunnin' screen caps, and we thinks it's probably E&T bestest of best Dino-adulation a la Helm.  The ol' sayin' "practice makes perfect" seems to awesomely apply here as we think E&T has gotten down the amazin' art of combinin'  coolly captivatin' images with deeply descriptive reflections.......likes the smoothest of smooth mixin' of liquid libations to makes a cocktail worthy of our Dino's imbibin'!

So, likes, sit back and enjoy this remarkable review of "The Wrecking Crew" from our pallie of pallies, Eegah!! and Tabonga!  Thank you kind sir, for all your excitin' efforts in sharin' your powerful passion for our most beloved Dino as Matt Helm.  To checks this out in it's original source, simply clicks on the tag of this here Dino-gram.

We remain,

Yours in Dino,

Dino Martin Peters

 THE WRECKING CREW - Mack David and Frank De Vol - "House Of 7 Joys" (1968)



"The Wrecking Crew" was the final installment of four Matt Helm films! The others being "The Silencers," "Murderers' Row," and "The Ambushers!"

Welcome to another hot time Saturday night down in The Dungeon! Mix yourself up an ice cold dry martini or pour yourself a glass of Scotch, and let's get down to some not so serious business!



The star of "The Wrecking Crew" is the man himself, Mr. Cool, aka Dino Martin!



The co-stars are a bevy of beauties that will make any fan of the 60's feel like they found the pot of gold at the end of the corporate psychedelic rainbow!




"The Wrecking Crew" was probably my least favourite of the quartet, but is still a fun watch for a number of reasons! Without a doubt, "The Wrecking Crew" is a farce, and if you try to take it seriously, you'll be sorely disappointed! You just have to enjoy it for what it is, simplistically stupid, but a joy to enjoy!



That's a lot of gold bullion, and it's on a train that's about to get hijacked!



Now THAT is a cool phone! It only calls one very important place, so it doesn't need a dial!



Yet another bombshell who didn't even get top billing was Tina (Gilligan's Island) Louise!
Enjoying Tina's dance is Nigel (The Skull, Jason and the Argonauts, The Face of Fu ManChu) Green as supreme leader Count Massimo Contini, aka: the man who stole the gold!



Classy Nancy Kwan as Yu-Rang will probably always be remembered most for her very first two movie classics, "The World Of Suzie Wong," and "Flower Drum Song!"



So Tina Louise was Ginger on 98 episodes of "Gilligan's Island" starring Bob Denver, and Bob Denver's gig previous to "Gilligan's Island" was "The Many Loves Of Dobie Gillis" as Maynard, and just what was Maynard's classic line when someone spoke to him?
That's right, it was "You Rang?!" Are you starting to see a pattern here?



The next gorgeous gal in this feature was Sharon Tate as Freya Carlson, Matt Helm's unwanted clown escort! Surely everybody knows the shocking true story about Director Roman Polowski's wife Sharon Tate who was brutally murdered by the Manson clan! If you don't, Google it!



Poor Dean, he has rendezvous with four of the best looking women in Hollywood at the time, and unlike James Bond, his suave character doesn't even ever score once!



Business is pleasure, but something like a bomb always wrecks all the fun!



Excellent shot of the two beauties Elke Sommer and Sharon Tate together! Elke has the role of Count Massimo Contini's girlfriend Linka Karensky!



A lot of the fight scenes have an obvious stunt man filling in for Dino, but in  the closeups, he's kicking ass himself!



Freya finally lets down her hair, and ditches the clown costume for something a little more appealing to Matt Helm!



She also does a little dance that just possibly might be the best part of the movie!



At least Matt Helm gets to drive a cool Lincoln Continental instead of a station wagon in this movie! Here he is pulling up to that world famous dive, the House of 7 Joys which is celebrated in the theme song written by Mack David and Frank De Vol! This movie has a lot of eye candy in it, and I could have chosen a lot more pictures, but that's exactly the reason we've chosen to limit ourselves, otherwise, these things would go on forever!



Just in case you never watch this film, you need to know that Matt Helm had all the components to put this helicopter together in the trunk of his car in two large suitcases!



Visually, a lot of "The Wrecking Crew" is green screen city!





There were plans to have Sharon Tate and Dean Martin reunite for a fifth Matt Helm feature
 called "The Ravagers," but Dean refused to continue on with the series after the horrible murder of Sharon Tate by the Manson family, which all adds up to making "The Wrecking Crew" one of the silliest but saddest films of all time!
So that's the last of the Matt Helm films in The Dungeon Library, and now that I see that this 4 DVD set is selling online for a minimum of about $45.00, I guess it's time for my copy to vamanos too!

Posted by Eegah!! and Tabonga! at 5:13 PM